On the second day of 2019 I ran out of coffee beans, so on my way to a meeting I had to swing by Ye Olde Bucks of Star and I walked in because I didn’t know what beans I might want (or would be on sale post-holiday and the answer was NONE but then later at Target there were some on sale and the mermaid mug I was also eyeballing seems to have completely disappeared so aside from procuring caffeine it was a trash coffee day) and bless the little tiny blonde barista that looked at me, gasped, and said “OH MY GOD I LOVE YOUR OUTFIT!”
And I froze as I stared at her, knowing I’d pulled these jeans out of the bottom-most basket of clean laundry that’s been in my room for literally months and this shirt from a pile of black shirts that were the discards while I was looking for a different black shirt and one of my not-black felines maybe slept adjacent to but not entirely on top of based on the amount of cat hair I had to roll off the shirt before putting it on, with my nearly bare face and my air-dried hair and barely mustered up a “Uh, thanks” before stopping myself from a short diatribe explaining the exact things I just wrote right here.
This is progress, because I am working on accepting compliments even if they feel undeserved (mostly because I always think they are undeserved) and not relying on self-deprecation to make myself feel less awkward. Progress!
And yes, I was going to a meeting on campus like this. They have seen me worse. They will see me worse again. I was wearing real pants and a bra(lette) and mascara. I tried. They know I tried. It’s still break.
I’m allowed to be honest here. It’s my damn site.
I was also chided for freaking out about a class last semester that I got an A in but honestly, I don’t know how. As long as I finish this one paper and get my incomplete converted, I’m pretty sure I still have a 4.0.
Anyway. The days of being able to cosplay in/as real life are quickly becoming numbered again as work and school and work-school start picking back up, so I’ll take my moments as I can get them, even if I was the only mom in Target not wearing leggings today.
I’m going to call that a win.
Black cotton long sleeve v-neck t-shirt, black deconstructed skinny jeans, & grey cotton knit infinity scarf: Old Navy
Black star punch belt & faux leather belted moto jacket: Express
Black cotton knit fingerless gloves: Target
Amethyst crystal necklace: my childhood
Faceted white stud earrings: BRIM
Purple tortoiseshell cats’ eye glasses: Kate Spade
Black leather convertible moto boots: Dr. Martens