Tabatha Wharton

#365altgradmomstyle

#365altgradmomstyle

a year in the life of my evolving, offbeat aesthetic as i navigate being
a mid-30s-femme-grown-up-emo-punk-single-mom-graduate-student-non-profit-employee-fashionista.

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Not very often, I work evening shifts during the week. It’s super hard to juggle with class and visitation schedules, but occasionally when work is very busy my boss and I construct game plans that benefit all parties involved. It’s part of what I love about my workplace, if I don’t always love the job I do. My coworkers and superiors are a family — we even bicker like one — but in the end they appreciate that we have lives outside of the buildings and in turn, at least for me, I am invested in my team, department, and company and do everything I can within my capacities to be a team player and someone who can be counted on.

So I volunteered to work a school-night shift because my schedule allowed for it. Which also meant, due to my usual Thursday schedule, I was going to be evening-shift-dressed all damn day. So I tried to pick something a little whimsical and fun (at least for me) and comfortable no matter where my feet were taking me.

I had a metallic gunmetal pleated midi skirt a few years ago, but after a couple of wears I gave it away because it felt off in a way I couldn’t place. You know how sometimes you love the concept of an item of clothing or an outfit, but in practice you feel like you’re trying too hard to do the thing? That was that skirt at that time. Now, I kick myself regularly that I gave up so easy on it.

I think that’s the hard time about maintaining a closet you love — you feel the need to rid yourself of things you outgrow, physically or sartorially, and society surely pushes the idea of purging things in order to make way for new ones via trends not only in fashion, but in lifestyle (Kondo, anyone?). Over the last year as I’ve lost a great deal of weight (mostly due to illness, but some due to lifestyle changes) I’ve realized that previously I would buy things almost aspirationally — like I wanted to be the kind of person who would wear metallic pleated midi skirts with aplomb, but where I was at in my life at the time didn’t allow me the space and/or the confidence to do so in a way that let me feel good about it and myself. Yet here I am, re-purchasing a similar item of clothing just a couple of short years later because I wasn’t patient with myself. Sure, being thinner probably helps the dysmorphia side of my brain with my perceptions of really everything, but I’d like to think that the journey I’ve been on in really all realms of my life over these past few years has just allowed me to be exactly who I want to be … and maybe back then, I knew that person was inside of me, I just wasn’t ready or didn’t know how to let her out and be her.

So while I’m still mad about letting that skirt go, I’m tickled to have found this awesome one to take it’s place.

Sometimes things that seem frivolous end up being the basics upon which you rely.

Black cotton t-shirt with silver foil-print polka dots & grey knit infinity scarf: Old Navy
Warm silver metallic foil pleated midi skirt: TJ Maxx
Black leather wide O-ring belt: Nine West
Two tier iridescent druzy quartz necklace: Nordstrom Rack
Clear quartz stud earrings: Pluma Jewelry
Sunglasses: Kate Spade
Damask micro fishnet tights: MeMoi
Black studded booties: Catherine Malandrino
Faux leather belted moto jacket: Express
Lipstick: KVD Everlasting Love Liquid in Ludwig & Everlasting Glimmer Veil in Thunderstruck